Shekeled and Euroed: A Girl's Guide to coming back from the East

"Modern world don't ask why

cause modern world, build things high

now they house canyons filled with life.

Modern World I'm not pleased to meet you

You just bring me down." --Wolf Parade's "Modern World"

Back in Amurrrrrica from my 2 week hiatus in the Middle East, namely Israel and Jordan, after my brief jaunts in Athens and Belgrade coming from Prishtina. Granted, even though I was sick with a whooping cough, I had an urge to sing "Proud to be an American" when I touched down in New York (same urge I had in Macedonia using the most putrid bathrooms ever smelled 10 meters away). I had a surge of a sort of love and respect for the efficiency, organization, accountability, and other little (and big things) I had missed about this complicated, admirable, and terrifyingly powerful country. I had intended to write about "borders" (something most Americans don't encounter... ever) but something is a little more pressing.

My bank account.

Okay, not really. But coming back from the land of 4 shekel dozens of rugelah (Jewish chocolate pastry), .50 Euro lattes, and cheap 2 hour cab rides that seem expensive at the time, but end up being only $20. I was couch surfing and spending money really only on transportation and the occasional goodie, relying on the kindness of strangers to lend a car ride, a couch, or some chicken at shabbos or iftar. Oh the life of the traveler! Sounds romantic, eh?

Then I come to America. At first, I was most surprised at the lack of automatic weapons. A summer near NATO and the IDF will do that to you. The next thing I was surprised at was how efficient and accountable everything was. (Time near the Kosovo government will make you a little shell shocked coming back to America). Next, I was surprised that people generally obeyed traffic laws and did not drive next to back hoes tearing up the road with no traffic cones warning the public.

However, I am more surprised at how expensive basic living is. All that accountability and responsibility I was talking about before comes with a price. I went shopping today at Wal-Mart for some supplies. Don't judge. I don't have a Whole Foods near my house. I'm moving into a new house at school and really needed supplies like laundry detergent, dishwashing soap, toilet paper, staple foods and tooth paste. Not anything out of the ordinary.

At the check out, the boys in front of me had spent $80 on school supplies and soap for college. The Cashier, a rather plump woman who's tata's hung over the scanner, lamented the costs of underwear with the boys and how expensive it is to live. They said, "College is expensive." I said, "Tell me about it."

My turn. I scan my Tide. My non-organic dish soap. My Charmin toilet Paper. My only indulgence in all of this is a box of "Just Bunches" cereal and some Rembrandt tooth whitening mouth wash ($6.95). After all of this, and then more food and cleaning supplies, my total is $160. WTF.

The lady behind me is talking about how every time she comes to Wal-Mart she ends up spending $100. "You get your soap, your toilet paper, your tooth paste. You spend $100, get home and realize you didn't buy any food." I swipe a credit card and cringe. I can afford it and my economy size Tide is sure to last all semester, but still. That is not a pretty number.

I talk to the ladies and ask, "How do we live in America? How do people even get by if soap is $5.99 and minimum wage is $5.50/hr?" They complain about the cost of food. I say I'll become a vegetarian. Then I say I won't because its too expensive to eat fresh produce when a burrito is only $6.00 and I will spend that much on 6 apples at Gourmet Heaven in New Haven.

New Haven recently lost its sole supermarket, Shaw's, this past year. It leaves a student/poor food stamp neighborhood with no alternative other than a food co-op, minimarts, and an incredibly overpriced gourmet food store. Those ladies think Wal-mart is expensive, try shopping in a town without a supermarket, where a carton of milk will put you back $5.

I am just struck at how expensive basic living is in America (and Switzerland, where a small latte at the airport put me back about $6.50). I sometimes think, "How can we consume more when its so much more expensive??" And then I remember, "CREDIT." On my student side, I surely don't use that much toilet paper and a meager amount of laundry detergent (and I rarely do laundry...). I think I live pretty simply and do without a 32 oz. $7 Seventh Generation Laundry detergent (Tide is $6 for 50 oz.). I don't bother with dryer sheets and don't get caught up in gimic buys. Mostly because I drink coffee religiously and have a special budget for that....

In the mean time, I will reminisce about my .50 Euro lattes as I go back to paying $3.00 a latte and drinking about 3 of them a day because I am a sleepless ambitious college student, wanting to make it in this world. Doesn't that sound like a funny coincidence?

Good thing I bought a coffee maker.

Belgrade and the Theater of Necessity

In geopolitical lingo, the word "theater" describes a "region where active military operations are in progress" or more generally "a region where significant events and actions are played out." The world naturally has many theaters of this sort.

Somehow, Belgrade is a true theater, of both the artistic and geopolitical sense of the word.

During my time in Belgrade this weekend, I had the honor and pleasure of visiting with Borka Pavicevic, an iconic artistic, political, social, and activist figure in Belgrade for the past 30 or so years. She is an actress and theater maker by trade and part of the famed Belgrade circle of intellectuals, a now dying or disbanded breed that included Foucault, Habermas, Derrida, and Savic (who I also met) among others. Borka has an air about her. Probably 60 something, she wears slinky shifty dresses, old pearls, dons a bold dark stripe in grey hair, wears deep matte red lipstick, and never is seen without a cigarette. Her deep voice is a strange mix between an old bubby and a sex symbol. Her presence commands attention and her words reveal a depth of understanding in terms easily understood (to agree or disagree with!).

Borka Pavicevic

Today she is a leading chair at the Center for Cultural Decontamination in Belgrade and an active translator, writer, theater maker, and cultural envoy in Europe and the world. She works also with the Youth Initiative for Human Rights--the most effective, organized, and professional human rights agency I've ever witnessed. They have objectives, strategies, and achievable goals to promote democracy, civil engagement, and a revival of Serbian optimism for a new option and new alternative to old Nationalistic discourses that cling to Kosovo at the expense of progress.

As an artist in a theater of operations that has seen Turks, Austrians, Greeks, Romans, Germans, Russians, Internationals, the US, and more, she is very concerned with elements of identity--both as we understand and construct it. The Balkans have historically been a clusterf*ck of identities. In Borka's example: "Former professors of Marxism are now professors of religion!" Particularly now, when old religious and nationalist identities are reemerging in the vacuum of money, stability, and economy in Serbia, identity is a huge issue. She described the reemergence of these beliefs and ideologies--particularly with the Orthodox Church and its relationship to culture and even art.

One of her most memorable quotes to me was this, "A Church without belief is kitsch. Church and the theater require belief, a necessity. With a church, you can build a building and they will come when they need it. With a theater, you cannot just build the building. The people ARE the theater."

Borka, admittedly said that the Theater was mostly disbanded in the 1990s. Today, she is trying to bring it back. As she said, she NEEDS to bring it back to counteract the extremist nationalist, old-school-Serb dialog that holds back a lot of progress in Serbia. The theater gets to those people and the people are going to the theater. As a symbol of progress and peace herself, Borka is shaping a "Theater of Necessity" in Belgrade (not an official title mind you, but concept). There is an agenda in this theater (theater defined here by the people in it), an agenda to salvage, form, and show a process of forming an identity that will move Serbia forward and not keep it back.

The Theater is Necessary because Change is necessary or else Serbia will face dire economic, political, and social consequences (estimated to be on level with those of Greece's recent economic collapse.) When done well, the theater is a machine which we must desire to create and by which we rethink ourselves.

I have been reading current plays from the region, particularly those of Jeton Neziraj, a Kosovar playwright who has gained international renown for single handedly creating a theater in Kosovo, but a theater that actively helps the population rethink war, conflict, and identity. For those skeptics of political theater (I speak to those purists out there!), Neziraj's plays are not solely works of political theater, but are strong piece of literature, regardless of where you come from.

It got me to thinking about my theater. All of these artists are using the theater, not for commercial or entertainment reasons solely, but for a necessary political, ideological, and life-saving agenda. Theater, not just film, has always been a way of bearing witness to people and their actions in a way that film just does not achieve in the same way. It is a near religious experience when done well.

These artists NEED the theater they create and form. It begged me to rethink what I am creating, doing, and saying with my theater.

Immediately after talking to Borka, I contacted several dear theater making friends of mine, calling for a reform of our juvenile theater and coming to a greater intensity of purpose and ideas in what we create. What do we need in creating theater? Why do we need it? Do we even need it?

I beg of you to post responses about what you need in theater.

Responses, however random or unorganized they are, are below:

"I thought how wonderful it could be to teach kinesthetic response workshops to people all over the world. The workshops are aiming to get people in touch with their own center, to respond physically and emotionally to their own complicated thoughts and drives, in a creative, instead of destructive, way; as well as responding to others in the same ways." Timmia HF

"[Theater] goes deeper than that (or perhaps shallower), I'm talking about people like us. not every so-called intellectual is ever going to want to really think. Not every so-called artist is ever going to want to truly create and speak to God. But artists are modern-day prophets." -Timmia HF

"At Yale, in theater, and often, in class, we try to say and do things that are "necessary" because their necessity is a sign of their worth. We want to be good at making theater (or writing essays, talking in section), and surely, a
good theater-maker or thinker would produce work that is "important," "relevant," "vital," and "necessary." I do believe that this compulsive drive toward accomplishment is poison for the thinker and theater-maker. It makes the shows and the papers more boring than a pissing contest. The question is, what can take the place of that drive? If we are not guided in our thought and in our theater-making by love of praise, what are we guided by?" -Rachel P.

What does she want?

"Choosing/designing projects around what I consider to be theater's greatest asset: the fact that the actor/character may fail to achieve his goal at any moment, that the 2 hours of the play are the only chance, that the audience is bearing witness to a real attempt." --Rachel P

I encourage my theatrical community to continue posting ideas (by choosing to follow my blog!!) and keep this discourse going.

Our theater must be more similar to the geopolitical definition. "A PLACE WHERE SIGNIFICANT ACTIONS AND EVENTS TAKE PLACE."