Lady Lost: Abstract Art, Stalkers, Spice Bazaars and Circumcision

Sometimes you just have to get lost. So Saturday, I did. Today's post is about how to entertain oneself (or protect oneself) by being LOST as a single lady.

I woke up, had some more carbohydrates to hydrate and decided to take untrodden paths to do three things: 1) Eventually make it to the Hippie District to try to get drum/guitar lessons 2) Go to the Spice Bazaar 3) Grocery Shop.

So I set out on foot. No public transportation. Found some great novelties. 

Abstract Art 

I made my way to Taksim, but opted for some back streets. I ran into a fashion house that carried original pieces by both Japanese, Brazilian, and a Turkish woman who studied Anthropology all over the world and now makes clothes. (See my other blog, www.theglobalizationofvanity.blogspot.com) 

After, I ran into the Pera Museum, holding a ceramic show in the heat of Istanbul Design Weekend. I can smell Yuppiness.  I will end here before I go into intellectual masturbation mode. I moseyed some more until I found the Istanbul Culinary Institute (more yuppiness). BEST part of my afternoon. I had a SALAD with soft cheese, basil and tomatoes. Now, the nice thing about being a girl alone is that you get free stuff. Of course I got free coffee and dessert! 

LOST MOMENT: I like getting lost in other people's conversations. And judging them. (I Admit it.... a single lady has to entertain herself with that around her) Next to me was a Chinese tourist with two Indian tourists having a conversation about abstract art. The Chinese woman was an "artist" while the Indians worked as Engineers at Microsoft. Conversation snippet: 

Indian Woman: "I want to understand abstract art! It is too abstract for my engineering mind. What is the guideline? Is there one? I mean, if I look at a stack of BIC pens they call "art" at my office at Microsoft, is that art? It must be good because its in my office." 

Chinese Woman: "Well, because you are an engineer you think you need a guideline but you don't. Maybe they put this in your office just to piss you off. Modern Art is about your relationship to the object and about the process. Its not about whether it is good or not." 

Indian Woman: "But there must be a reason!"

Chinese Woman: "Have you ever taken an art class? Maybe you would know."

Indian Woman: "When I was a kid." 

Chinese Woman: "You are just an engineer and so that is all art means to you and thats fine. Maybe you should analyze it. But if all you see if that, then that's it for you."

So Chinese Woman thought she was a really great artist, using buzzwords like "process" and "relationship" and putting down Engineers. Hunny, I've met plenty of great engineers who are also artists creating art because they are skeptical of art. Chinese Woman was kind of getting bitchy... Lucky for me, I had free dessert to keep me busy. I found my one dollar bill to give as a cute tip and left...

Stalkers

I walk down the street to the hippie district. I find some drums (tabla) and types of guitars I mess with before I get in a bargaining match with a "Bohemian Street Artist" as he calls himself. I find a vintage clothing store in what is basically the ruins of an old building with clothes from eons ago, leather, and a lady cooking. People glance at me, but I look Turkish, so I don't get many looks (I'm dressed normally for a Turk). I wander further down to the hardware district where someone tries to sell a faucet to me. Further on the bridge I walk past fisherman. 

LOST MOMENT: Coming out of the tunnel crossing the street, I hear heavy breathing on me. I glance from my side vision from my thick 1970s Perry Ellis Frames (thank you Aunt Nancy) and see a large prepubescent boy staring at me with his mouth open. I keep walking, he follows. I take out my phone to "call" someone. He still follows. Another 100 meters, I turn around look at him and say "Get away!" I walk quickly towards a mosque and fall in with a bunch of ladies. 

Thank Allah for Mosques. Instant security. Getting lost in a crowd is a major plus.  

Spice Bazaars and Circumcision

Finding the Spice Bazaar was a nightmare. I found myself in a clothing district, dealing with a different sort of "spice of life." 

LOST MOMENT: Culture can make you want to hide in fear of pain, not get lost. Everyone was out buying little circumcision outfits for their uncircumcised sons in this clothing district. So here is what you need to know. At around 10-12 boys "become men" (they are told) and get special clothes with crowns and scepters and toys. They eat out and get all the sweets they want. They get pictures taken and go to holy places. Then... they are taken to a sort of special place where they become men. Only they do not expect someone to whip out surgical tools and take their foreskin. Poor little dudes. 

After a while of wandering through gardening, pet, and hardware bazaars, I find the epic spice bazaar where I purchase rose and mint tea like a pro, along with Turkish Delight. Some rug dealers become  my friends and they all invite me back for tea later. I have a "date" and a "boyfriend" I have to go see, so they nod in a sort of respect, understanding, and disappointment perhaps. 

On the way back, I try to do something domestic with my life.

Grocery Shopping. 

LOST MOMENT: This is harder, yet easier in Istanbul. When you are in a tiny room and just ask for things and someone gets them for you--that's nice. When you don't speak Turkish and have to do this. That is not so nice. Lost.... But luckily I know enough words for food and "beautiful" to get by. I get the goods for crepes and scrambled eggs. I'm lost while trying to find my domesticity. I know it exists.... 

So lessons learned as a single lady: 1) Getting lost in someone else's rather pointed (and uninformed?) conversations about modern art can make any single lady want to get lost in a dessert--keep them handy 2) Get lost in mosques to avoid heavy breathing boychicks 3) Its okay if you don't want to understand why they circumcise boys at a late age.... 4) You don't speak the language of Turkish nor domestic-- at least the first one is a valid excuse for the fact that you cannot cook... presently....

Regardless, that was my favorite day (and the night was even more... interesting. Spucky, Spunky, Sparky shout out??). Sorry if it was scattered. My mind was a little lost in awe, wonder, love, excitement, wanderlust, caution, geography, shopping, nervousness, and Hasan Dede. Just kidding.